Chapter 15- Bad News

Amrita worked on her application to further her studies in a public university. She discussed with her parents and did some research on the universities she was interested in. Amrita was planning in continuing her studies in Psychology. She always wanted to study Psychology because she wants to help understand people and bring joy in people’s life. Amrita was nervous throughout the waiting period.

After 3 months, she received a text notification which informed her that the results of her application will be announced the next day. Amrita made sure she stayed home the next day to check her results. Amrita logged in on the online application website to check her results.

Amrita was very heart-broken when she saw the results of her application. She was offered something else. She was not offered the course she applied. Amrita was so sad that she started crying. She was afraid to tell her parents about it. She was afraid they might feel disappointed because the last thing she ever want to do is make her parents feel disappointed. She was not sure if she would even want to take the offer and do something different from what she hoped for. She needed to talk to someone and the only person she could talk to was Shivanesh.

#

Shivanesh did not have any classes to attend for the day so he was playing around with his music application on his laptop and writing lyrics. He suddenly heard a message notification. He opened the window and found a message from Amrita.

Amrita:

Shiva, I need you.

Shiva got worried suddenly. “Did something happened to her?” Shivanesh thought as he typed a reply.

Shivanesh

Why? What happened?

Amrita :

I got my university offer.

Shivanesh:  

Owh. Congratulations. What did you get?

Amrita:

I was offered to do Computer Science.

Shivanesh:

That is a good course. Why do I sense that you do not like it?

Amrita:

I wanted to do Psychology studies. I applied for it but I got something else. It is definitely different from what I asked for.

Shivanesh:

Which university were you offered to go to?

Amrita:

UNIMAS. University Malaysia Sarawak.

After reading Amrita’s reply, he understood what made her to really worry about the offer. Being a girl who always want to be by her family’s side, she was reluctant of going so far. Shivanesh knew she need to make a decision and she definitely does not want to continue her studies in any Private institution. He knows he would need to explain to her and help her make the right choice.

Shivanesh:

Girl, I know it is hard for you to accept it. But you should think. This is still an opportunity given to you after waiting for so long. Are you sure you want to give it up?

Amrita:

I really do not know what to do.

Shivanesh:

Look.We can plan a thousand things but not everything works

according to what we plan. Take a deep breath and tell you parents

 about it. If you were to ask me, I would tell you to go for it.

It may be something different but it is also new and

you could learn new things.

Amrita:

Okay.

Amrita stopped replying or sending back anything to Shivanesh. “I really hope she makes the right decision,” Shivanesh thought to himself.

#

Amrita was just in front of the computer. She kept reading Shivanesh’s advice. She knew he was right and what he said made perfect sense. She waited until evening to break the news about the university offer to her parents.

“Amma, Appa. I got my university offer today. I really hope you are not disappointed,” Amrita said.

“Why dear? What did you get?” Amrita’s mother asked her.

“I got offered to do my degree in Computer Science,” Amrita said.

“Oh. I know it may not be something you wanted to do but it is a quite good course. Why did you think we would be disappointed?” Amrita’s father asked her.

“Well, because I got offered to do it in Universiti Malaysia Sarawak. It is on the other side of the country,” Amrita said.

“Amrita. It is definitely not something we would be disappointed about. You got an offer to continue your studies in a public university and that reason itself makes us proud. We cannot be disappointed by the fact you would not be staying near us because you are growing up and I can see that you will be a flourishing beautiful lady no matter where you are. Staying away from home is bound to happen sooner or later. It makes you to grow into a better and responsible adult,” Amrita’s father said.

“Dear girl. It would be fine. You have to learn to stay away from home and us as you grow, and we also have to learn to let you go on even if it means you would live far from us. Just know that even if we are not by your side physically, we would always be there for you when you need us,” Amrita’s mother said.

“I understand. I guess I will be going to Sarawak then,” Amrita said.

After a long discussion with her parents that night and a lot of thinking, Amrita decided to accept the offer given to her and her parents were fully supportive of her decision. She believed that regardless of what she has planned for herself, God may have a different plan for her and she was convinced that probably her talent maybe useful in this field instead of what she had thought for herself.

Two weeks after that, Amrita received official her offer letter from the university. She was to leave and enroll 2 months from then. She nervously prepared all the documents and things she would need to enroll and move to Sarawak. She was also offered a hostel to stay in during her studies. Her parents promised her that they will follow her on the registration day.

It was the last night she was spending before she left to the airport in the morning. She was having dinner with her family. She realized that her siblings were quite gloomy, and they were not in their usual noisy self. She knew why they were behaving as so.

“Guys. You want me to cry before I go? Why are you guys so gloomy,” Amrita said to her siblings.

“We are going to miss you Akka. A lot,” Amarika said. She was gloomy thinking that she would not be able to see her sister as often as she wish to.

“I am going to miss you guys too. But we have video calls right? I also will come back during my holidays. Don’t worry,” Amrita said trying to make her siblings feel better. Maybe she was also trying to make herself feel better.

“Promise us that you will call often,” Amaran said warning his sister.

“I will. I promise,” Amrita said.

“Okay guys. It is not good to sulk in front of our food. So, let’s eat,” Amrita’s mother said. She was sure she was going to miss her eldest daughter. But she knows she has to support her daughter for Amrita’s future. And she was very much willing to let her daughter travel far just so she can keep growing herself, preparing for a better future for herself.

Chapter 14- Good News.

Today is the day Amrita has been waiting for so long. It is the day where she will see if all the effort she has put in for the past 2 years paid off. She knows how much she prepared herself for this day. Sleepless nights, the stop of all unnecessary entertainment. She put a stop to many things to focus only on her studies. Therefore, today is the day. It is the day she would know if she has a shot to fulfill her dreams to get a place in a public university. Amrita got up earlier than usual and she prepared breakfast for her parents because she was excited and she wants to go to college early to collect her results.

“Wow, breakfast is ready?” Amrita’s father said when he came to the kitchen.

“Yeah. Amrita made breakfast this morning,” Amrita’s mother who was helping her to serve the breakfast said.

“Wow. That is a surprise. What is the occasion?” Amrita’s father asked.

“Nothing much, Appa. Just want to go to college early. Today is Results day. Want to go early to collect my results,” Amrita asked.

“You seem confident of today’s results. Are you?” her father asked her.

“Anxious actually. Just hoping that my hard work paid off,” Amrita said taking a seat next to her father at the dining table.

“No worries. I have confidence in my daughter’s capability,” her father said.

They all had breakfast and left to Amrita’s college to collect her exam results. When they arrived, they saw so many students already waiting for their result announcement. Amrita joined her classmates, waiting for her results.

“How long more before the announcement?” Amrita asked.

“I think about 15 minutes more. At least that is what they said,” Shruthi, one of her classmates told her.

After a while of anxious waiting, they saw some staffs putting up the list of results at the notice board. They all went to the notice board and saw the results after the staff has put up the list and left the area. A part of Amrita is excited about seeing the results. Another part is feeling afraid of what her result could be. While she was getting nearer to the list, she could feel her heart beating rapidly and the inside of her stomach knotting up. She prayed hard before seeing the list. Her name starts from A and she knows that the list was in alphabetical order, she quickly searched for the group of names starting with A on the list. She slowly searched for her name while deep inside, she was chanting all kinds of prayers. When she found her name, she quickly checked her results. The moment she saw her results, she could feel her eyes getting blurry and tears were running down her cheeks. Her heart was beating fast but not due to anxiousness but because of excitement. She could feel the burden on her shoulders going of slowly. She could feel the corner of her lips going up while she tried to impossibly dry her cheeks as her tears keep falling. She slowly walked out of the crowd and stood silently for a while.

“Yes!!” Amrita said after finally recollecting her thoughts. “I did it.”

“So, how was your results?” Amrita’s mother asked when she saw Amrita as she walked towards the girls once seeing her walking out of the crowd.

Amrita started crying immediately. She put up 4 fingers and showed her mother to indicate the number of A’s she got. No words was coming out of her mouth at that very moment.

“All A’s?” Amrita’s mother guessed. She pulled her daughter into a bone-crushing hug the moment she saw the girl nodded.

Amrita felt so accomplished when she saw the proud smile on her father’s face and the tears of happiness on her mother’s eyes. She felt great as she knows that finally her hard work paid off. She was not distracted and now, she is one step closer to reaching what she really wanted. Amrita went to collect her exam result slip from her lecturer with her friends.

“Congratulations, Amrita. Great job. You should be proud of yourself,” her lecturer said.

“Thank you, Sir. Thank you so much for your help,” Amrita said.

“No Amrita. It was solely your effort and hard work. I just helped you and there. You proved it to yourself that if you put your heart to it, there is nothing you cannot do,” the lecturer told her.

“I am still glad that I got a lecturer like you, sir. You were willing to help me even when I keep coming to you so many times,” Amrita said.

“I am glad and proud to have met a diligent student like you. I wish you all the best for your future,” he lecturer said giving her a professional handshake and a big smile.

“Thank you, sir,” Amrita said returning his handshake.

Amrita went out to meet her friends who studied with her throughout the 2 years.

“Shruthi, Meiling. I am going to miss you a lot,” Amrita said giving both her friends a bear hug.

“We are going to miss you too. So whats plans after this?” Shruthi asked Amrita.

“I guess the applications will go out soon. Then I will hope for the best. We should meet up. Once at least before we move on. We haven’t really went out cause we were all so hooked up with books preparing for the exams,” Amrita suggested.

“I think we should. Legal age and done with exams. I think we can gift ourselves some free time of entertainment. I will plan. If it okay with you girls,” Mei Ling said.

“Of course!!” Amrita and Shruthi said full of excitement. The girls were very into the conversation until Amrita decided to go home to her family.

That night, Amrita and her family went out to celebrate her success. They decide to go somewhere different with good food. Therefore, they decided to go to a place called “Manhattan Fish Market” which has good seafood and a variety of them. Even though Amrita has sinusitis and is allergic to seafood, she still enjoys them a lot and her parents has decided to do as she wishes at least for today. Amrita and her parents still have not told Amaran and Amarika about the reason they are going out that night. Somehow they managed to rush Amaran and Amarika to get ready and get into the car. They were rushed that they did not have time to even digest what was going on. They were in the car when Amarika suddenly asked,” Appa, Amma. Why are we going out and where are we going?”

“It is a secret. Can’t we go out without any specific reasons?” Amrita’s mother said.

“Akka, at least you tell us, why and where?” Amaran asked turning to his sister who was seating next to Amarika next to the window.

Amrita just kept quiet and pretended like she did not hear what Amaran asked her.

“You are not telling where we are going or why. This is considered kidnapping,” Amaran said.

Amrita and her parents giggled,” We are your parents. Why would we need to kidnap you guys?” Amrita’s father asked.

“I don’t know. But who knows? Maybe you are imposters. Maybe you are not Amma and Appa. And you, you might not be Amrita Akka,” Amaran said pointing at Amrita. Hearing this, Amrita and her parents could not contain their laughter.

“If I am imposter, how would I know that you have a mole on your right inner thight and you, how would I know that you have a lot of pink items,’ Amrita told to both Amarika and Amaran while laughing. Amaran and Amarika kept quiet after hearing what Amrita has to say. “I don’t know where you guys get all these ideas. I think Amar, you got to reduce in your movie. You are getting very influenced with them,” Amrita said.

After about 20 minutes and a big laughter session, they arrived at the restaurant. Amaran and Amrika were so excited to see where they were. Amrita just laughed seeing how the younger ones forgot their kidnapping accusations and got excited with where they were. They all went in and took their seats at the table assigned to them by the waiter and placed their orders. Once the beverages they ordered were served, Amrita’s father took charge of the table.

“Okay Everyone. Raise your glasses. Well. You two were wondering why we are here right?” Amrita’s father asked Amaran and Amarika. The two nodded having a very bur face wondering what was going on.

“Well…... We are here to celebrate your sister’s achievement,” Amrita’s father said.

“Really? You did it?” Amaran asked Amrita.

“Yes. I did it,” Amrita said with a big smile on her face.

“Congratulations, Akka,” Amrika said and hugged Amrita.

“Thank you, Rika,” Amrita said hugging her sister more.

They had a great night full of laughter. Amrita felt so blessed that she has a family who supports her so much no matter what she wants to do.

Despite all the excitement and fun on the table, Amrita could not stop from wondering about the person who she is yet to break the news to. She was excited to know what he has to say.

#

 It was near midnight but Shivanesh was still up doing his assignment waiting for a certain someone’s message. He has been waiting anxiously the whole day to hear something from her. While Shivanesh was doing his assignment, he heard a notification from Facebook messenger. He just smiled to himself knowing well who it from was.

He opened the messenger window and saw a message received from Amrita.

Amrita:

Shiva!!.

Shivanesh

It is about time you buzzed me. How was your day?

Amrita :

Don’t you know what day is today?

Shivanesh:

It is obviously not your birthday. Is it any special day?

Shivanesh knew exactly what day it was as he has been waiting the whole day for this girl to tell him her results.

Amrita:

Shiva!! How can you not know? I definitely told you yesterday.

#

The night before.

Shivanesh and Sumithra was in the phone talking about her choice for after school. They were having a serious conversation while Shivanesh was researching on options for his sister’s future as he knows she is really good in her studies unlike him.

While he was on the phone, he received a message on his laptop.

Amrita:

Shiva. I am feeling really nervous.

Shivanesh:

Oh. Why?

Amrita :

They are announcing the results tomorrow

Shivanesh knew how much Amrita needs him. He decided to end his conversation with his sister before replying Amrita.

“Sumi, I got to go. We talk later okay,” Shivanesh told his sister.

“Sure, Anna,” Sumithra said before ending the call.

Shivanesh:

Don’t feel nervous. You would have done really well. You are a brilliant student.

Amrita :

Thanks Shiva. I am hoping for the best. Pray for me?

Shivanesh:

Surely. Good luck for tomorrow. I will be waiting to hear the news from you.

#

(Current time)

Shivanesh:

Well, maybe you should remind me.

Amrita :

Fine. Today was the day I got my STPM results.

Shivanesh:

Yeah, I know. What about that?

Shivanesh decided to annoy Amrita more.

Amrita was sure she would have smacked Shivanesh if only he was next to her. She clearly knows he was pulling her legs about it. So, she decided to play a trick on him too.

Amrita :

Okay. You don’t seem interested to know. I am not telling you. Good night

Amrita quickly changed her chat status to ‘Away” on purpose right after the reply.

Shivanesh panicked the moment saw the reply he received from Amrita. He panicked even more when he saw that Amrita’s status changed. He knew he brought the prank a bit too far.

Shivanesh:

Amrita. I am so sorry

He waited for a few minutes before sending more messages to Amrita.

Shivanesh:

Amrita. I really want to know your results. Please tell me

I waited all this while for you to tell me. Please come back

I do remember what day it is. I am so so sorry for annoying you. Pity me please

On the other side, Amrita was laughing to herself seeing how Shivanesh was panicking. After about 15 minutes, she decided to reply him.

Amrita :

This is what you get for pranking me

Shivanesh:

Okay. I am very very sorry

 So, how did you do?

Amrita :

I manage to get a decent score

Shivanesh:

Okay. How decent?

Shivanesh replied while drinking water. Reading her reply made him spray the water in his mouth out of shock.

Amrita :

All A’s

He knew she was a brilliant girl and could get good scores but this for him was at a genius level.

Shivanesh:

Wow. That is Genius territory. Congratulations. Al last your hardwork paid off

He was so happy and proud of her that he wish she was next to him that he can give her a big hug.

Amrita :

Yeah. I know. I am so happy. I don’t know if I can sleep

Shivanesh:

It is okay if you don’t want to sleep. But I am going to sleep. It is really late and I have class tomorrow. Good night, Amrita

Amrita:

Good night Shivanesh

Chapter 13- Reconnected

Shivanesh was already a year through his Diploma and in his second year of studies. His routine was the same every day. But he often has fun during his class time. He had friends who are really great people. His closest buddy was Eric. Well many actually labelled them as ‘gay partners’ due to the closeness of their friendship. Shivanesh was already in his second year of studies.

He has a great deal of friends which kept on making his life a fun adventure. These friends became a part of his life when they all sat in a class for Sociology lessons. There are 2 seniors, Sanjay and Herald. Friends from probably another planet like the crazy Raakesh, silent but funny Varun, strict but loyal Reshman, silent but prankster Sahadev, and the innocent grant, Yogendran. Not to forget Raakesh’s girlfriend who is bubbly and cheerful, Mrithubashini. They became really close to each other after a field trip they had in Cameron Highlands. They were all sitting together for a drink. They were all enjoying tea together instead of having any alcohol drinks like how a bunch of college students would do. But the truth was actually, the selection of tea being their companion drink was just because they all ran out of beer.

They were sharing a lot of stories and having funny conversations for hours. That is when they realized that they are all somehow connected to each other. And now, they call themselves the IUCs. They know that they can rely on each other no matter what happens. Not to mention, there were 3 lecturers that eventually became a part of the gang as well as their age gap is not so far apart. There was a young, bubbly and strict Mr. Shashimohan and the dearest couple, Mr. Rupesh and Miss Divyashini.

Shivanesh always enjoyed his time in college. There were still a part of him that sometimes feel a bit of pain as he has not fully cured from Amrita and when that happens, he does seek for comfort on the cheap liquor and cigarettes. Shivanesh does know his limits with alcohol. However, he still cannot bring himself to stop smoking. But he is very glad he made the decision of continuing his studies because now he has amazing friends who helps him to feel better. Besides, he has his mother and sister who always support him. Shivanesh was fully driven to make an achievement for himself.

Shivanesh recently found another interest where he finds comfort from. He loves making music thought he does not really has much exposure to it. He downloaded an application on his laptop, suggested by Herald and they started working on making remixs and writing lyrics. Shivanesh lets go of his concerns and heartaches through his lyrics and music. Though he never really let anyone listen to it. He still tends to find comfort in it.

#

Amrita is now is her second half of her Form 6. She met many friends. But her focus has always been for her studies. She was really focused on her studies. She paid most attention in her classes and manage to create a bond with her teachers which never was a problem to her in the first place. She often visited them to clear any doubts she has regarding her subjects. Amrita is really serious in making her dreams come true.

Amrita took some extra tuition to improve on her understanding in each subject. So far, she found herself doing quite well. Her parents are very supportive about what she was going to do. Only thing she was missing was a friend to share everything that she is going through. As much as she is close to her family, but there were some things that she felt more secured and comfortable talking it out to a friend. She does miss the one true friend she had who really cared and understood her well. She felt like she has ignored him for too long, but she is afraid to try to contact him first.

Amrita was working on a lab report when she suddenly heard a beep on her laptop. She checked her laptop and saw an incoming message from someone she least expected.

#

Shivanesh was checking through his Facebook timeline when he decided to do something crazy and  send a message to someone. When he was looking through his chat list, he realized a name that he has not been able to speak to for a very long time. He does miss her a lot. No matter how much he tries to ignore and forget the feelings he have for her, it just makes his feelings get deeper. He was afraid to send her a message cause he was afraid to be ignored again. He was debating with himself on whether or not he should text her and what should he send to her. After 15 minutes staring at an empty chatroom window, he sent her a message.

#

Amrita saw the message and felt a slight tingling in her stomach seeing the message coming in at the time she was missing him most. It was as though he could sense her missing him, as ridiculous as it may sound.

Shivanesh:

Hi. Amrita

There were no second thoughts or any doubts when Amrita was replying to Shivanesh. She replied in an instance.

Amrita:

Hi Shivanesh, How are you?

Shivanesh:

I am fine. How are you doing? What are you doing now?

Amrita:

Well, I am actually doing my STPM. And you? What are you doing now?

Shivanesh:

I am doing my Diploma now. How is life?

The conversation was full of them catching up on each other. They didn’t just stop that night. They spoke to each other whenever they could. Eventually, Facebook Messenger Inbox is a must check inbox for both Amrita and Shivanesh whenever they turned on their laptop. It was casual chats. Him telling her about his friends and his experience while doing his Diploma and her sharing about the hardship and stress she goes through with her studies. Slowly, the conversations became as casual and personal as asking each other what they ate for the day and how was their day. After about 4 months through the casual chats, Amrita finally mustered some courage to actually ask Shivanesh about the time he was not able to be contacted. About the time he was missing.

Amrita:

Shiva. What happened to you? I tried contacting you but I could not get through

Shivanesh was thinking whether or not he should tell her the truth. He opted not to because he did not want her to ask too many questions.

Shivanesh:

I just lost my phone and changed my number. Why? Anything?

Amrita:

Really? But why didn’t you tell me? I was really missing you and needed a friend so much

Shivanesh:

Well, you were ignoring me for some time. You ignored my calls and did not reply to my text. So I assumed that who were not interested to talk to me already

Shivanesh tried his best to hide the fact of how devastated he was when she ignored him.

Amrita:

Oh. I guess I should be blamed. So sorry Shiva. I was just so confused. Anyway. Let’s put everything aside. We are back together now

Amrita replied without checking twice on the words she chose.

Shivanesh could feel his heart skip a beat when he read the message. He knew very well she meant it differently and Amrita can be clumsy with her words at times and this was one of her clumsy moment. Shivanesh decided to use it against her and tease her more.

Shivanesh:

Back together? Were we in relationship in the first place?

Seeing Shivanesh’s reply, Amrita read back the message she sent and realised that her clumsiness just chose the wrong time to show itself. “Goodness, Amrita. Why now? He is going to think that you are weird. What am I going to reply now?” Amrita thought to herself. She knows she should not wait too long reply as that will give Shivanesh the wrong idea.

Amrita:

No. I meant it is great that we are friends again. You know what I mean right?

Shivanesh:

Did we ever stopped being friends?

Shivanesh replied not letting Amrita go without more teasing.

Amrita:

Gosh Shiva. I know you are teasing me. You are so bad. I got to go. Got a tuition session to attend

Shivanesh:

Hahahaha. Okay. I shall continue later. Have fun. Text me later okay?

Amrita:

Okay

Amrita replied smiling to herself. “It has been a while since someone made me feel like this. Goodness. Shiva what are you doing to me?’ Amrita thought to herself while packing her things for her tuition.

#

Amrita at last managed to finally finish her exams properly. Just when she thought SPM was thought, STPM beat it. But she felt more confident about this time’s exams. She felt that she has prepared herself well before the exams. She knows clearly how important the exams are for her future.

Amrita was very thankful that she had a friend for her to share all her worries and concerns with she is glad that he is always there wherever she needs him. Due to her preparations for her exams, she reduced on the time she spoke to Shivanesh on Facebook Messenger. And Shivanesh totally understood that she needed to focus on her exam preparations and he was totally fine with it even though he missed her when they can’t talk to each other. For Amrita, it was nice to know that she has someone who knows her well that she can speak her heart out to.

Amrita also understood that Shivanesh is equally busy with his studies and she really hopes and prays he do well all the time. Both Amrita and Shivanesh eventually became a hidden support system to each other without them realizing it. They do chat but never confronted their true feelings in chat. They often shared about funny events in a day or other experience that could be an interest to the other. Amrita cannot wait to meet him again. She missed him a lot. She does see how he looks on Facebook but she is curious to know more about him. She misses the time they used to spend with each other talking about the stupidest topics. All she wish is that they could eventually come back to how they were as she could feel that Shivanesh makes her feel happy.